SazraDiva
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SazraDiva
Updated:June 19, 2020 7:16 am
Last visit:June 19, 2020 7:07 am
Member Since:November 5, 2005 2:43 pm
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Location
Australia
Gender
Female
Birthday
January 29
Interests
history, travel
Astrological sign
Aquarius (Jan 19-Feb 18)
Personal Quote
Ask an Aussie something, they'll tell you what its not -
"How are you going?" - "Not bad"
"What are you doing?" - "Not much"
"What time is it?" - "Not late"
"When will you be back?" - "Not long"
"Will we chat again?" - "Not likely"......
Shoe monsters attack in pairs, devouring their victims from the feet up!
Let me slip out of these wet clothes and into a dry martini
I used to be a kleptomaniac, but I took something for it...
You can shave a cat again and again, but you can only skin it once.
Walk a 1000 miles in someone else's shoes - that way you'll be 1000 miles away, and you'll still have their shoes
Laughter is the best medicine, altho Peneciline gives it a good run for its money.
A stick is your friend. A pointed stick is your good friend. An army of pointed sticks is your best friend.
Your village called - they want their idiot back.
Don't you love the way newsreaders say "Good evening", and then proceed to tell you why it isn't!
Diarrhea runs in the family.
Why are pirates pirates? ... Becoz they ARRRRRRRRR!
"Do these shorts make my butt look big?"
"--Don't blame it on the shorts."
Never play strip poker with forest animals - they have far more hairs than you have pants.
I am a bomb technician - - if you see me running, try to keep up!
O - this is your brain.
o - this is your brain on drugs.
o - this is your butt
O - this is your butt in jail.
DON'T DO DRUGS!
Damn you gravity, you win this round
Strength may win the fight, but style wins the crowd
Money, gold, crackers - every bird has its price.
There are more airplanes in the ocean than submarines in the sky.
Life is short - eat dessert first.
I never asked to be an evil princess but since the crown fits so well...
May your bread always land butter-side up!
Dogs have masters - cats have staff
My knight in shining armour turned out to be a loser in aluminium foil
You seem like a creep - can we be friends?
I am not a muffin, I am a real cake
Men give love to get sex - women give sex to get love...
The sex you get - you don't want. The sex you want - you don't get.
Chocolate is the answer, and I don't care what the question is!
Suffer the little creatures, for they may yet rise up and beat you senseless
Beauty is but a light switch away!
Dinner is ready when the fire alarm goes off.
Cows would live much longer if they weren't made from steak and leather.
You're just jealous the voices talk to ME!
Life's a bitch, cos if it was a slut it would be easy.
Hold on - let me add that to my "Things I Don't Give A #### About" notebook
My favourite 4-letter F word is FOOD!
TOP 5 LOVELORN SONGS:
5. "If I Can't Be Number One In Your Life, Then Number Two On You"
4. "I Still Miss You Baby, But My Aim's Gettin' Better"
3. "I'm So Miserable Without You It's Like Having You Here"
2. "If I Had Shot You When I Wanted To I'd Be Out Of Prison By Now"
1. "She Got The Ring And I Got The Finger"
ANSWERING MACHINE AT A MENTAL HOSPITAL:
Hello, and welcome to the mental health hotline...
* If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.
* If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.
* If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5, and 6.
* If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want.
* If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be transferred to the other space-ship.
* If you are schizophrenic, a small voice will tell you which number to press.
* If you are manic-depressive, it doesn't matter what number you press, no one will answer.
* If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
* If you have low self-esteem, please hang up. All of our operators are too busy to talk to you.
* If you are blonde, please don't press any buttons, you'll mess it up.
THANKYOU
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Personal
Height
155cm
Weight
45kg
Eye Color
green
Hair Color
brown
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