alonelyvgirl

alonelyvgirl
  • Updated:November 23, 2012 6:26 pm
  • Last visit:April 10, 2013 11:51 pm
  • Member Since:October 28, 2012 4:48 pm
British Columbia, Canada
Female
October 1
Art, literature, movies, music, unexplained/bizarre phenomenon, animals, men (and women), and lots of other things.
Libra (Sep 23-Oct 22)
Mystery shopper / free-lance writer
My wheelchair
 

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Personal

5'2"
125 lbs
Hazel
Brown
Whatever I feel
Discordian
Caucasian / White
None
Bisexual
Physically Single, but Spiritually Married
Hello. I am 25 years old. I am a mystery shopper, and graduated from college in 2010 with an Associates of Arts Degree, specializing in creative writing.

I'm also single and a virgin. However, I'm not a virgin by choice. I am simply not physically able to have sex because of my disability. I've explained the details below, as it is a bit complicated. If anyone has any suggestions for my sexual relationship problems, your input and comments are very much appreciated. Also, if you happen to have any questions either about me or my disability, please feel free to ask. I am very open.

I was born with severe cerebral palsy, and am in a wheelchair for life. For me, having Cerebral Palsy means all the muscles in my body (especially those in my lower body) are exceptionally rigid, spastic, and I cannot control how they react and move. So, if I was to have sex, I’d most likely kick the shit out of the guy involuntarily or accidentally crush him to death like a boa constrictor with my legs. As for being tied up, my legs are capable of ripping through two layers of duct tape plus Velcro. I’ve also been emotionally and psychologically abused throughout my life, so I cannot deal with feeling extra vulnerable, and forced immobility will just make me feel more vulnerable than I already am. Plus if my body is any indication as to how tense and spastic my vaginal and anal muscles would be, sex would probably be a lot more painful on my end than it would be pleasurable.

Masturbation is impossible for me to do because my cerebral palsy also affects my hands’ muscle-control, coordination and motor skills, and to get my hands and fingers to work in a pleasurable fashion on myself takes too much mental concentration and physical exertion. I am nowhere near my climax by the time I get too tired to continue. Not to mention the amount of mental concentration I need to focus on my hands’ movements prohibits me from fantasizing. Giving a hand job to my partner would also be problematic for the same reasons, in addition to the fact that the spasticity in my hands doesn’t allow my hands to open properly.

I really don't think I could do oral either because the doctors said they had to fight to keep my mouth open for my wisdom teeth surgery, even when I was knocked out with general anesthetic. Not to mention the fact that I have to drink through a straw because my mouth will try to bite through the glass otherwise. In addition to these indications, my mouth can get sore very quickly, even when brushing my teeth. Plus my jaw locks at the half-way point.

I’m not sure what to do about my situation. I’m extremely lonely and really would like to have a boyfriend, but I know that sexless relationships don’t work or last. Also because of my disability, and my noticeable speech impairment, men are too shallow or too scared to approach me, let alone ask me out. They think I am mentally retarded and/or paralyzed, and that I cannot feel anything, so finding a boyfriend is difficult as it is even without addressing my inability to have sex.
 
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